I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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