i permit you to call me
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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