I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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