i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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