just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
