She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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