im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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