So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize