what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
