Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Randomize
