She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
