Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize