First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize