I'm really into asian looking animals
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize