Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
