It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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