this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
