i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
It's just like the Real World with babies
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i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
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I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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