i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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