Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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