remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
