guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
