Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
