I think my fart just growled at me.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
