if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
