Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
there's paper in my vomit.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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