I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
