What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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