therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I have tasted many bathrooms
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize