How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
