I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
