as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
