The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
how drunk are you?
Several
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
