Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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