Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He felt like a one man threesome
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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