we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
birth control should be required to get into college
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
is that a dick in a sweater?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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