carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
