my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize