Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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