After last night, I could never be a politician.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She's the barista slut.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
