At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
