you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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