dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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