He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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