I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
