do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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