Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
it wasn't lemon gatorade
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
