What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
