She said her name was "party"
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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