PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
