Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize