Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.

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(817): View more from Texas

One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(325): View more from Texas

I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck

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(512): View more from Texas

Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"

(1-512): View more from Texas

Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan

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(937): View more from Ohio

Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest

(937): View more from Ohio

That happened during battle shots lol

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(347): View more from New York

You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together

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