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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.

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• (914): View more from New York

  when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Right after we had the just friends talk..

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (917): View more from New York City

  She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.

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• (619): View more from California

  He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.

  (760): View more from California

  Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home

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