I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
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At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
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She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home