I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together