yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
