Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!

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(256): View more from Alabama

I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.

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(559): View more from California

Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(562): View more from California

cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.

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(+61): View more from Australia

We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.

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(248): View more from Michigan

In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.

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(314): View more from Missouri

You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.

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