Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
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