if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He has the fingertips of a God
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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