Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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