matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Mom said you looked used
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize