well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Oh god it's open bar.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
