He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
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everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
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Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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