i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
It's a yes or no question.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
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That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
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Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday