i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.