i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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