I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize