I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize