I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
