I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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