Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I will pee on everything he values.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He shit in the fireplace
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
