I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We smell like vodka and hangover
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
