Apparently you make a good broom.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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